SIN FOR YOU: ROCKTOWN INK, BOOK TWO Read online

Page 17


  He was everywhere, and even though it was impossible, I wanted more.

  My thighs were trembling, and I tore my mouth away and cried out. “Please, please don’t stop.”

  “Quiet,” he gritted out. “You don’t want anyone to find me with you, do you?” There was something weird in his voice, but I was too far gone to work out what.

  Suddenly, still holding me, Bull turned, lifted me off him, flipped me over, and planted me on the bed. He dragged my ass in the air, then he was back inside me, fucking me from behind like he’d promised.

  One of his arms curled under my hips, holding me where he wanted me, the other coming around as well, but his hand went between my thighs, fingers going to my clit, working it as he pounded into me. I fisted the sheets, my arms dropping out from under me, and screamed into the covers. My orgasm slammed through me without warning, the intense clench and release, clench and release stealing my breath.

  Bull bucked into me several more times, then he groaned and pulsed inside me, coming with me.

  He kept thrusting through it but without rhythm. With a final grunt, he pulled out.

  I watched him move past me, now flat on my belly, trying to catch my breath as he disappeared into the bathroom.

  He strode back out a couple of minutes later, and I was flipped as soon as Bull reached the bed, before he dropped to his knees. He lifted my legs over his shoulders and I’d barely registered what was happening, when he buried his face between my thighs.

  “Oh God.” My hand flew to his head and I arched against his mouth, still sensitive. But he licked me softly, tenderly, working me with his lips and tongue, slowly and persistently bringing me right back to the brink in moments. Bull loved going down on me—he did it a lot and told me as much often. He was getting no complaints from me.

  His hands wrapped around my thighs, again keeping me where he wanted me.

  And I was powerless, perfectly, blissfully powerless.

  Then I was flying again, shaking and crying out, trying to hold Bull to me. I reached for him as he finally lowered my legs and slid me higher in the bed, and I hung on to him when he climbed in beside me and pulled the covers over us.

  * * *

  Bull

  I couldn’t sleep, had lain there for the last three hours, gut churning.

  I tightened my arm around Quinn’s waist and buried my face in her hair.

  I’d screwed up so fucking bad.

  I’d never meant to fall in love with her. It was never meant to happen. But it had and there was no coming back from it.

  The beautiful, sweet, intelligent, sexy-as-hell woman in my arms didn’t feel the same way, and, yeah, that hurt like a motherfucker.

  “The whole time I was wishing I was at your place, in your bed, alone with you.” Not dancing with her, like she’d been with that other guy, not talking or laughing. She wished we were fucking, that’s all.

  She wanted my mouth, my hands, my dick, but that’s where it ended.

  But that was the agreement. She wasn’t interested in love or relationships, for a good reason. Sex only, and when one of us was done, we walked away. No one got hurt, no hard feelings. That wasn’t going to be possible now. I wouldn’t be able to walk away from this unscathed. I’d most definitely screwed up. How could I have ever thought spending time with Quinn, kissing her, holding her, getting to know her, really know her as more than just Mase’s sister, could end any other way?

  I’d cared about her before this started, more than I’d admitted to myself.

  She made a soft sound, wriggling against me. “Bull?”

  “Go back to sleep, sweets.”

  She rolled toward me instead, pressing in closer. “I need you,” she said. One of her legs lifted over my hip, scalding pussy making contact with my skin.

  Those softly spoken words reached into my chest, fisted my heart, and squeezed. “You want me inside you again, baby?” I said, already shaking with hunger for her.

  “Yes,” she whispered.

  I slid my hand between us and groaned at how hot and wet she was.

  “I can’t get enough of you,” she said, hips moving against my hand, voice breathless.

  Jesus, she had no idea. I grabbed another condom, suited up, and rolled her soft and pliant to her back. “Wrap yourself around me.”

  She did, arms around my neck, slender legs around my waist. I kissed her still puffy lips as I lined up, lifting to my elbows so I could watch her face as I slid home.

  Because that’s exactly how it felt, like I was exactly where I was supposed to be. Where I was meant to be.

  Her eyes squeezed shut then opened wide as I tilted my hips forward, and her mouth opened on a husky sigh. Fucking beautiful.

  I started moving deep and controlled, taking it slow, loving the way she held on to me, the sexy, sweet little noises she made when I was all the way in then pressed deeper still before sliding back out.

  Her fingers dug into my shoulders, nails scoring my skin. I couldn’t take my eyes off her, didn’t want it to end. I shook with the effort to hold back and the bed shook with me, sweat coating my skin.

  What have you done?

  The words echoed through my mind over and over. Jesus fucking Christ, what had I done? My gaze lifted from Quinn’s mouth and locked on to hers, and I tried, fuck knew, I tried to hide the way I was feeling, but I knew it was there in my eyes when she gasped, her nails dug deeper, and she pulled me down, breaking that eye contact like it was too much, like she didn’t want to see it.

  Because she didn’t.

  She didn’t want that from me.

  Quinn kissed me one last time before pulling away, then she was coming, eyes squeezed tight, shutting me out. She clenched around me, muffling her cries on my bicep, and I was helpless to do anything else but go with her.

  When I finally had myself together, I lifted my head and looked down at her. I didn’t know what I was looking for…

  Bullshit.

  Yeah, fuck, I wanted to see something, anything that told me she felt even a tiny bit of what I felt for her, but she still had her eyes closed.

  “Look at me.” My voice sounded fucking raw.

  Her eyes opened and she looked at my mouth as her hand went to my shoulder and she pushed, pushing me away.

  “I…I need the bathroom.”

  I moved, letting her up, and she scurried out from under me, scooping up her clothes as she made a dash for the other side of the room.

  My stomach was in knots when she finally walked out, eyes darting around the room like a cornered animal.

  “Why are you dressed?” I shoved back the covers and strode across the room toward her. I had to fix this. I wasn’t ready for this to end, not yet, but when she looked up at me, I knew that was exactly what was going to happen. “Sweets?”

  “I’m going back to my room.”

  Still, I pushed, hoping she’d give me something, some small scrap, something more. “Why?”

  “I, ah…” She bit her lip.

  “You’re spooked. What just happened…it’s not—”

  “No, you didn’t do anything. I just feel like sleeping on my own.” She smiled, and it was false as hell. “I mean, you must be getting sick of me, right? This is just a casual thing and I’ve been occupying all of your time. You probably have things you want to do.”

  I clenched my teeth at her not so subtle reminder of our casual status. “It’s three in the morning.”

  “Not now, obviously. I mean during the day…or in the evenings. Spend time with your friends or Cal and Dane or whatever.”

  She was pulling away, freaking out, and I couldn’t really blame her. I’d broken the rules. I’d developed feelings for her. No, I hadn’t said it out loud, but she’d seen it, and she was running scared.

  “What are you saying?” I said and tucked her wild hair behind her ear. Christ, I just needed to touch her. Seeing her like this, with those words coming out of her mouth, I couldn’t bear it. I wanted to lift her up a
nd put her back in my bed and fuck her again until she forgot what just happened.

  Her gaze dropped to her feet. “I just think that maybe we should…step back a little bit, cool things down.” She laughed a little and it sounded wrong. “I mean, I’ve been with you every night this week.”

  “So?” I bit out, the pain in my chest coming through loud and clear in my voice.

  Her eyes came back to me. “Well, that’s not normal, right? For people who are seeing each other casually.”

  “How the fuck would I know?”

  “Well, you were seeing Lynette—”

  “I don’t want to talk about goddamned Lynette. There is nothing about that situation and ours that is remotely the same.”

  She crossed her arms, retreating farther still. “You weren’t serious with her, it was just sex…and so are we, so—”

  “You’re more to me than just sex, Quinn, and you fucking know it. I’ve known you for a long time, we’re…friends. I don’t see what the problem is here.”

  “We weren’t really—friends, I mean. You were my brother’s best friend and I was his annoying little sister. You felt responsible for me and now we’re…something else.”

  I shoved my fingers through my hair in frustration. “Okay, so what are you saying, Quinn, because I’m having trouble following?”

  “I just think we should, um…cool things down. Like once every other week or maybe once a month we get together to do…this.” She motioned to the bed. “I’m leaving soon, so we could hook up when I come home to Rocktown. Then the rest of the time we just go back to the way we always were.”

  “Once a month? When you’re home?” I growled. “You want to put some kind of schedule on when we fuck? Like we sit down and sync up our calendars, make some kind of fucking timetable?”

  Her eyes were darting around the room. “Why not? It’s just sex. Why not treat it like any other appointment?”

  “You have got to be shitting me. So you’re asking me to work with you every day, at least until you piss off back to the city, and pretend I don’t know what it’s like to be inside you, not kiss or touch you until our allotted sex appointment every month?” I was making this worse, without doubt. Christ, I needed to back off, but fear that I was losing her drove me on.

  “Why are you making such a big deal out of this?” she said, the wariness back in her eyes.

  “Am I?” I said, disbelief clear in my voice.

  “And you knew I was going back to Portland. We agreed this would be casual, you agreed, now you…you want more of me than I’m willing to give.”

  Ouch. “Because I don’t want my sex life scheduled? Because I can’t just turn it off and on to suit some fucking timetable? Because I want to be able to kiss you when I’m feeling it and not when it’s written on a calendar?”

  “You’re making this harder, more complicated, than it needs to be.”

  “Funny, I’m pretty sure that’s what you’re doing.”

  Her chest was rising and falling, face flushed. She took a step back and shook her head. “This is…it’s just too hard. I don’t think we should—”

  “Quinn,” I barked out, fear gripping me tighter, stopping her from saying the rest. I was breathing hard, on the verge of hyperventilating, because I knew what her next words were going to be and I didn’t want to hear them.

  She swallowed several times, and I could see so much moving behind her eyes, but thankfully she didn’t finish that sentence. No, she looked up at me and offered a wobbly smile. “I’m going to head back to my room. I don’t want Dane to know I was in here. Probably a good idea if we both get some sleep anyway.”

  My throat was so tight I felt like I was choking. I didn’t want her anywhere but with me, wrapped around me like she always did, like she needed me.

  Like she wanted me as much as I wanted her.

  Instead, I said, “You’re probably right.” I closed the distance between us and pulled her against me. She came without resistance—thank fuck—and I kissed her softly. “Sleep well, sweets.”

  I watched her walk out the door and close it quietly behind her, knowing that it was more than likely the last time I’d ever kiss her.

  Chapter Twenty

  Quinn

  I felt sick to my stomach.

  After pulling open the door to my room in Cassy’s guesthouse, I rushed down the hall, back to Bull’s room. I’d hardly slept, had tossed and turned. It was barely light outside, but I couldn’t wait another moment.

  I wanted to make sure we were okay. I’d reacted badly last night. God, I’d been confused, my head all over the place. The intimacy, the way he’d looked at me had scared me, because I thought—no, I knew if I let myself, I could fall hard for Logan, so very easily.

  I could give him my heart.

  And that terrified me.

  It was only four months ago that I was engaged, convinced I was happy, looking forward to the future. That I’d finally gotten it right. I didn’t trust my own judgment anymore. I didn’t know what I wanted, what I was doing half the time.

  Maybe we could have explored the idea of making this thing more than just sex eventually, but I needed time and I was leaving soon. I wasn’t ready. My heart wasn’t ready.

  The scars on the broken organ beating in my chest were deep, and the idea of trusting someone, even Bull, with it—a man I knew would never cheat on me or purposely hurt me—was like jumping off a really high freaking wall and relying on someone else to catch you, or risk breaking both your ankles.

  I didn’t want to break my ankles…

  Or my heart, not again. Just the idea sent dread through me strong enough to make my pulse race and my palms sweat.

  I knocked on his door softly.

  “Yeah,” he said from the other side of the heavy wood.

  I pushed the door open and stepped back into the room I’d fled just a few short hours ago, and everything felt…different.

  Bull was standing at the bathroom door in just his jeans, looking rumpled and sexy. His wide, thick inked chest dusted with hair was so sexy and familiar and comforting. I needed to feel him against me. I needed reassurance.

  Before I knew that I was going to do it, I ran at him.

  He caught me as I leaped into his strong arms, buried his face against the side of my throat, and carried me away from the bathroom and into the room. His massive arms squeezed me tight…

  Before he stood me on my feet and took a step back.

  I looked up at the expression on his face and my throat felt like it was closing up.

  Oh God.

  I tried to smile, but it felt wobbly. “Look, about last night,” I said, rushing to get the words out, hating the look on his face. “I just needed some space. I’ve had time to think, and honestly, the whole Bevan thing, it affected me more than I realized, and I guess I…I projected that onto you.”

  Bull looked so serious and it was freaking me out. So I tried to keep things light, take it back to where they’d been before the party. I needed to be back in that place with him again. What I thought I saw in his eyes last night while he moved inside me, an emotion that scared me more than anything, had to be a figment of my imagination. It had to be.

  And if you’re wrong?

  My belly squirmed. I wasn’t ready to talk about anything deeper, I couldn’t, because I couldn’t give him that, not now, and if that’s what he wanted…

  No, I needed to steer the conversation away from last night, from what I thought I saw, or I could lose him, and I couldn’t deal with that. “I’m fine now, I promise. Look, can we just…start again?”

  “Quinn—”

  “Logan, wait, just let me—” What? What could I do? I knew that tone. I’d heard it from Bevan and all my other exes before they told me I wasn’t good enough, that I was the reason our relationships weren’t working, that I wasn’t enough.

  And if I was honest, deep down, my biggest fear with Bull was that once again that would be true. That I never had been,
and never would be.

  “You want to end it, don’t you?” I said, because I wouldn’t beg or plead or give more of myself away, not even to Bull. I’d given enough of myself in the past. And besides, I had no right to be upset. I’d set the rules.

  His eyes were intense but gentle, those thick dark lashes framing them, softening them even more. Beautiful eyes that I realized, if I had more time, I could spend a lifetime staring into.

  His Adam’s apple bobbed. “You need to know, baby, that you did nothing wrong. Nothing. Christ, you’re perfect. It’s not you, it’s—”

  “It’s not you, it’s me? Really?” I whispered. “So I’m right? You’re ending it?”

  He released a rough breath. “I think it’s for the best.”

  He didn’t sound like himself, voice raw, rough.

  “For who?” I said, unable to keep the words locked up tight.

  His boots shifted on the carpet and he shoved his hands into his pockets. “Everyone.”

  “What about you?” I said, even though I knew I shouldn’t. But I needed to hear it. I didn’t know what had happened between last night and now, why Bull had suddenly changed his mind about us, but I needed the truth no matter how much it hurt. I needed to know this was about Logan and what he wanted—nothing, no one else. “Is it best for you?”

  He looked pale, throat working again. “For both of us.”

  “That’s not what I asked. I don’t want or need you to protect me, to make decisions for me. Forget about Mase or what you think’s best for me or anyone else. Is that what you want?” My heart was pounding behind my ribs.

  His fingers had curled into fists in his pockets. I could tell by the outline of his knuckles through the denim, by the way his pecs jumped and the tendons in his inked-up forearms bunched and strained.

  His jaw tightened. “I don’t want to…fuck, tell me you know you did nothing wrong, that you believe me when I say this isn’t about you—”